Oh my poor, poor darling. I feel your pain and embarassement. But don't feel alone, many men suffer from what is known as Wheelie Erectile Dysfuntion, otherwise known as W.E.D.

Although I have never witnessed this with my riding (ehem!) partners, I have heard other women describe the emasculation their boyfriends or husbands have experienced when asked to perform this unnatural task. But don't worry, there are thousands of you out there, and there is help.

In the words of my Grandmother Persis, an original Motor Maid and Hellion on Wheels, don't be eight ounces of man and two hundred pounds of thrust. Sometimes it takes a gentle hand and a lot of patience to get you standing erect. After all, you're not eighteen years old anymore and it often takes more work to get warmed up and ready. Take it slow, take it easy, experiment with what you're comfortable with, try not to think about it or put too much pressure on yourself and I can guarantee you will feel it rise.

And once you do get it up, be careful and be responsible, you will be a menace on the streets with that thing.

Venus, aka The Hottie.

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Faster and faster until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.