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Rank: Member
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Joined: 11/10/2008
Posts: 20
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Location: Pocatello, ID
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JR wrote:Hey Uncle Matt - I don't think that you should give your dirt bike away. Are you still sad because of your crash? I got rid of that rock that knocked you over Uncle Matt. You don't have to worry about that one anymore.
JR Hey JR! If there is one person that I will listen to it is my personal trainer... that's you bud! You are the guy who taught me how to start the bike, you were the guy who had my back when I crashed, and you were the guy who made me feel better by telling me how often your dad crashes!!! I am still thinking it over bud and it helps a lot to know that you still have my back... and that blasted rock! Matt
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Rank: Advanced Member
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, The Hottie
Joined: 4/4/2008
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Location: The Wild West
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Holy Moses ! This thread is full of knucklehead dimwit men who don't know the first thing about chicks. Let me ed-u-ma-kate you big boobsuckers on the finer points of the female psyche.
This is not her feeble attempt at controlling or (gasp!) emasculating you in any way. The basic fact is she's scared. Not scared that you will hurt yourself. Oh no. She's scared that you might go out on a ride and find a younger and hotter version of her who also happens to have a dirtbike and thus the two of you will ride off into the sunset leaving her abandoned in the great rooster of your dirt wake.
Little does she know that you could grow any number of hallucenogenic fungi in your helmet and probably even more potent varieties in the dank recesses of your moto pants. Leave the "masculine" sport of dirtbiking to the uninitiated mind of an Average American Female (AAF) and she's liable to associate all sorts of sordid carnal insecurities at the first whiff of your exhaust fumes.
No need to get rid of the bike, you just need to take her with you when you go. Now that I think about it, given that prospect, you might be better off getting rid of the bike. Take her along with your buddies down to Hanksville, Utah in the desert one fine summer weekend, set her up with a cute white t-shirt, a good book and a cooler full of wine spritzers and come back after an hour or so of hard riding. Make certain she gets a good long smell of you as you give her a sweat-and-red dust-encrusted hug. Grab her butt and make like you want to get a roll in the hay. After she experiences the olfactory assault that will surely be your penetrating blue cheese and green onion odor, I guarantee she will no longer think you're gonna get a piece of random strange on one of your trips. Or you could just buy a bike for her and remember that the couple who plays together stays together.
Faster and faster until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.
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Rank: Member
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Joined: 11/10/2008
Posts: 20
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Location: Pocatello, ID
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Ahhh.. finally the voice of reason appears! I was waiting for the smarter sex to show up and hottie, you did not disappoint! I very much like the idea of exposing her to the many smells of dirt biking in an effort to calm her fears of it making me attractive to other women, hehe. While I don't think this is the problem, I do think it was very well thought out and assured of success. But your other point is the one that hits the nail on the head. Riding a street bike with her is more likely to get her involved in the dirt biking world. Get her on two wheels first and show her that this is an activity that she can enjoy as well as I do. This woman is not a plump housewife, but is actually very athletic and an accomplished mountain biker as well - she would love it! Like you said... "the couple who plays together stays together". Razz me all you want guys, but this is far more than a case of succumbing to the overlords ultimatums... I would love to have her ride on the back of a cruiser and hit the road for the weekend. That would be good times indeed. Anyway... keep em coming, I get more abuse than this from the kids!!! My 8-year-old son has made the following statements... "If you are getting rid of the dirtbike you might as well get an ATV and get super fat" "I think you are getting rid of the bike because you always crash a lot and you can't even get it started". "I watched the discovery channel show on motorcycles and they said that Harleys (cruisers) aren't great bikes and are only made to look good... and I think you would just look dumb." Between JR and my son I am in for a world of hurt... always get hit the hardest by the young uns! 
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Rank: Newbie
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The Hottie wrote: you might go out on a ride and find a younger and hotter version of her who also happens to have a dirtbike and thus the two of you will ride off into the sunset leaving her abandoned in the great rooster of your dirt wake.
You say this like it's a bad thing.
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
, The Hottie
Joined: 4/4/2008
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Points: 60
Location: The Wild West
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Criminy whatever you do, don't get a damned CRUISER. Blasphemy! Blasphemy! How my eyeballs doth bleed upon the very reading of such a suggestion!!! Might as well get the ATV, turn into a tub of goo, let your lady love dump ya, and call it a day! 
Faster and faster until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: 3/2/2008
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Location: Pocatello
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Hola Hottie!
Great to hear from you girl. We are gonna romp some this year, yes? I feel a MoJazz roadtrip coming on soon. Plenty of twisties, fast bikes, and a hot chick on a Ducati. What's not to like?
Anyhow - let me bring you up to speed with the issue at hand. The entire crux of this is the trade off between the perceived benefits from the definite tossing away of a fully-built XR400R (the stuff that motorcycle dreams are made of) for the potential, one day perhaps, sometime in the distant future, maybe next year.... of replacing it with a used, purple, metric HD knockoff that's only advantage is a pillion seat. And Matt would have to ride on the back since he has no MC endorsement.
We even offered to TIG weld some footpegs on the XR.
There you go.
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Location: Cloud Nine
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The Hottie wrote:After she experiences the olfactory assault that will surely be your penetrating blue cheese and green onion odor, I guarantee she will no longer think you're gonna get a piece of random strange on one of your trips.
Now there is some psychology for you. Just might work, too. Take her out for a weekend and show her just how undesireable you become when you're on your dirt bike. Of course if she's already worried that you'll be finding someone else when you're on the trail, she'll probably find a way to continue to worry. No matter how disgusting you smell after a ride, she'll convince herself that when she's not around you clean yourself up and go on the prowl. The Hottie wrote:Or you could just buy a bike for her and remember that the couple who plays together stays together. This might be your last resort. It's not a bad way to go. In fact riding with your girl can be some of the funnest times you'll know. But for god's sake, not a freeking purple cruiser. martin wrote:I feel a MoJazz roadtrip coming on soon. Plenty of twisties, fast bikes, and a hot chick on a Ducati. Like in March, maybe?
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Rank: Advanced Member
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Situation update...
As of today the issue is no longer the trade of a great dirt bike for a purple HD knockoff with pillion capability, but the trade of a great dirt bike for a vacation.
What say you, MoJazz cognescenti! Can we rescue our brother or is he doomed?
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YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT MAKES ME SICK? YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT GETS ME SO PISSED THAT I WANNA TAKE THE VELCRO OUTTA MY RIDING CHAPS AND USE IT TO RIP THE HAIR RIGHT OUTTA MY ARMPITS AND NOSTRILS? IT'S NAMBY PAMBY'S LIKE THE WIMPS HERE WHO HAVE ADVISED CARROT TOP OR WHATEVER THE HELL HIS NAME IS TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHEELIE THAT DAMNED FINE MOTORCYCLE OFF INTA THE SUNSET WITH HIS DINGLEBERRY PICKIN FINGER HELD HIGH. THAT'S WHAT ANY REAL RED-BLOODED UH-MERICAN MALE WOULD DO. WHY HELL - THAT'S WHAT ACTUAL RED-BLOODED UH-MERICAN FEMS WOULD DO (DAMN - THAT'S KIND OF HOT, HUH?). WHAT THE HELL IS HIS VALKYRIE THINKING ANYWAY? I MEAN WTF - WOMEN GOT HALF THE MONEY IN THE WORLD AND ALL OF THE NOOKIE AND BOOBS ('CEPT FOR BOY GEORGE) - WHADDA THEY GOT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT? A MOTORCYCLE? DAMN.
SOMEBODY NEEDS WISE UP THIS BOY TO THE BONA-FIDE FACTS OF LIFE IN A MAN'S WORLD. AND IF THAT DON'T WORK PLEASE SOMEBODY GIVE THE POOR SUMBITCH A SHOT OF ESTROGEN SO THAT HE CAN AT LEAST GET WORKED UP ENOUGH OVER HIS PMS TO SHOW SOME STONES.
I GOTTA GO.
EP
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HEY I JUST GOT ME A LOOK AT THE HOTTIE. DAMN SHE IS A LOOKER. DO ANY OF YOU METROSEXUAL WIMPS HAVE HER PHONE NUMBER? I'D LIKE TO TAKE HER FOR A RIDE ON MY REBEL 250 CHOPPER. DAMN SHE'D LOOK FINE BETWIXT ME AND THE SISSY BAR. WHOOOEEE.
I GOTTA GO.
EP
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Rank: Member
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Joined: 11/10/2008
Posts: 20
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Location: Pocatello, ID
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I made my choice. 
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Rank: Newbie
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Joined: 5/3/2008
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Location: Reno
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You bought a bike from Ozzy?
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
, The Hottie
Joined: 4/4/2008
Posts: 8
Points: 60
Location: The Wild West
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Jaysus! No!!! God love ya'. I don't know which frightens me more. The purple testes eater, or the shambolic personage upon it.
Faster and faster until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.
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Epilogue
Motobro Matt resolved his dilemma by returning the fully kitted XR400R to the person he bought it from. As you can see he and his sig-o then bought a used Vulcan 800 (for 2.4 times the money) that neither of them can ride (legally or physically). We are sure that they will spend many happy hours together watching the copious amount of rust on the frame grow like kudzu. But it is something that they can do together.
We still love the guy even if he is a knucklehead. But when it comes to queueing up for the men who have similar problems with sig-o's help desk he's gonna have to get in line. What are you gonna do?
Thanks for the sage advice. We are closing the poll and appreciate everyone who weighed in.
Salude!
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